Ritchie’s Revenge

WARNING: Do not drink liquid whilst reading this post. I am not responsible for damage to your surroundings. You’ve been warned.

Last night, my mother called with 2:07 left on the clock in the Steelers v Jets game (JETS SUCK). I told her I was watching football. All my friends and relatives know that is the universal “leave me alone and call back when the game is over” statement. But she insisted on talking, so I figured it must be important.

As she tells it: My mother has a very intelligent Siamese cat named Ritchie. She had just returned from work and fed Ritchie his brand new, expensive diabetic food. He took one bite of it, spit it out, turned around, sat in his bowl, and pissed on his food. (I was laughing uproariously at this story and thought that was it.)

But wait, there’s more: My mother, as I mentioned, had just returned from work, and was wearing an expensive velvet dress jacket. Anyway, mom was very upset with Ritchie, so she admonished him about his behaviour, and then tried picking him up. Whereupon Ritchie pissed on her velvet jacket.

If you ever doubt your cat lacks the ability to prove he doesn’t like his new food, this will cure you of any such thing. It’s a day later and I still crack up thinking about it. The cat has spoken and will be obeyed.

— Eric

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