OK, I’m pissed

Someone typed “IT’S” when they meant “ITS” and I flamed them. “I hate you” was the general reply. I created a response to that, and I was rather proud of it, so here it comes:

People who can’t use an apostrophe properly aren’t entitled to hate. Hell, as far as I’m concerned, they shouldn’t even be entitled to breathe. The failure to use language properly indicates one (or more) of the following conditions:

  1. The total and complete inability to communicate properly.
  2. Total and complete laziness. In this case, the person is better off shutting up. If you’re too lazy to communicate properly and effectively, then what you have to say is of no value to anyone. If you don’t care about what you are trying to express to do it properly, why should anyone else?
  3. The stupidity of the person (Type-A). Stupid people are forgiven because they’re simply unable to learn the correct way. These people have a biological disorder (mental retardation, etc.) that prevents them from effectively presenting an idea properly.
  4. The stupidity of the person (Type-B). These people are just dumb because they didn’t pay attention in school. These people may be shot and killed on sight.
  5. The person has not yet learned the language. If the person is speaking ESOL, then they are forgiven. However, I’ve found most ESOL people speak English much better than native English speakers. (I refer to Americans who just aren’t up to snuff for the most part — As an American, I am happy to judge my ignorant countrymen.)

    I’m not sure you’ll find another reason. You must fall in one of these categories. So, are you stupid or a retard? That’s probably harsh, but one must NEVER misuse IT’S/ITS or YOUR/YOU’RE or THEIR/THEY’RE or even TO/TOO.

    The best part is, when someone does it and I flame them and they ask “Do you think you’re* better than me?” I can answer quite honestly, “Obviously so, don’t you think?”

*This is usually misspelled when it’s in an e-mail which causes me paroxysms of laughter.

— Rev CMOT


Eats, Shoots, and Leaves
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