Let’s discuss being shy today. The definition from Wiktionary is: to avoid due to timidness or caution which will do for our purposes of discussion.
I think shyness is by definition a very personal issue — at least it is for me. There are many types of shyness, but there is a common denominator: preservation of ego or self-preservation. I think that’s where it starts. You’re shy because you don’t want to be humiliated, embarrassed, or hurt. Being hurt sucks.
Am I shy? Those who know me well say ‘no’ but that’s just not the case. I’m very shy. To use an obvious example: I have very few friends and over the years I’ve been losing them at a faster rate than I make them. I can count the new friends I’ve made in the past ten years on one hand. I’m talking real friends someone you interact with on a semi-regular basis in person or on the phone — which means Internet buddies don’t count. We don’t need to discuss if they’re good friends or not that’s a separate issue which I discussed in this blog entry: Friendship.
As for myself, I am really, really shy around people I don’t know. Once I know someone, I become less shy. But that can take a very long time — measured in years or decades. I’m not pathologically shy. I can go up and meet new people in limited situations, for instance in a business context. But if I see someone, I think I’d like to be friends with because I think they might be interesting, I won’t go up and introduce myself. I’m not even sure if I’d know how. The times I’ve taken the initiative are very, very few. In fact, I believe the number is two (I am currently friends with neither). On-line sometimes I can send an e-mail and say ‘hi’ but even that’s not easy for me and it rarely proceeds very far.
Are some subjects too private, but not others and is this related to shyness? Hell yes. I won’t even discuss them here. Sex, romance, friendship, relationships, etcetera are the main private topics, and of course the ‘what makes me tick.’ Why? Because people can use that information to hurt you. But those things I am less shy in discussing around some of my better friends. However, I never, ever discuss these topics in groups. These are one-on-one topics to be discussed between me and one other person.
I go to neither the beach nor the pool because I will never, ever take my shirt off for anyone other than my doctor — not even my family. I know it sounds freakish but that’s how I am. I can’t believe I am posting this, but it’s a true fact about me. It gives you one more reason to ridicule me. I haven’t been to the beach in years, but that’s just because I’m not into salt water. I miss the pool though. I realize that I could go and leave my shirt on. In fact, I know someone who does that, but that’s just a bit weird for me: sort of like going to a nude beach wearing clothes.
And speaking of nude beaches, that’s somewhere I can assure you that you will never , ever find me. Can you imagine being on a beach with all sorts of people, some attractive, some not, and then seeing someone you fancied and (being a guy) having your dangly-bits rise up to be noticed. I’d be forced to kill myself on the spot. No thanks. Talk about the ultimate in humiliation and embarrassment. It’s like a high-school locker room all over again. Man, did I hate that.
My shyness isn’t weight related either. I am not fat, but I am not thin. Maybe 20 pounds overweight a bit pudgy I suppose. I’m not sure what is causing it but it ain’t a weight thing. It ain’t a personality thing. It just is. How sad and pathetic does this make me. This is probably the most personal post I’ve ever made in this blog and I’m not sure if I will keep it or it will vanish, but here she stands.
Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day !