I was In a Fender Bender Today

Today, I was in a relatively minor fender bender. Or, more accurately, I was rear-ended by a cel-phone wielding blonde bitch. Maybe she isn’t, but her attitude bears me out.

I left work a bit early today to go to the post office and pick up some stuff while they were still open. So, along about 435pm or so, I am on the NW 36th Street access road (the road that runs right next to NW 36th Street). The road merges from two to one lane as it hooks left onto Ludlam Road. I was in the left lane (the through lane) and the right lane merges into it (they have the merge sign, and therefore the left lane has right of way).

I am driving substantially below the speed limit because it’s raining, and the road is wet. Right next to me in the right lane is a dark blue Kia Sportage. In the right lane following the Sportage is a gold Honda Civic, driven by a blonde who appears to be on a cell-phone. In front of me is a white Nissan Pathfinder (or maybe it’s a Q45; I’m not positive as I wasn’t paying attention to that). I slow a little more to let the Sportage in, and continue as the lanes merge. Please keep in mind there is no median and it’s a blind curve so you cannot weave into the oncoming lanes without risking a fatal head-on collision.

I am still driving WELL below the speed limit, going approximately 10 to 15 MPH due to the fact we’re merging, the road is wet, and we’re on a blind curve. Three wonderful driving conditions.

Apparently the lady in the Honda decides to merge and lean on her horn at the same time. It is my understanding that, apparently, if you’re a blonde on a cel-phone merging left, leaning on the horn gives you the right of way even if a car is ALREADY in the space you wish to occupy. Apparently, it does not dawn on her she can slow down or stop and get behind me.

It is FAR more convenient for her to actually clip my back bumper in the far-right corner and keep leaning on her horn. I pull over in front of Miami Aviation (or whatever that abandoned building in front of the UPS Air terminal is called) and get out and grab my (OFF as always) cel phone. She exits her car and is gabbing on the phone — which is why I assume she was on it when she hit me as she didn’t likely have time to make a call in the few seconds that elapse.

She starts yelling at me in Spanish and I yell back at her in English (no foul words were used). I ask what she wants to do because, happily there is almost NO visible damage to my car. She yabbers something so fast, I cannot understand it to translate it with my semi-limited Spanish. I say “Policia?” and she says “Si! Policia” so I call the Police (she is still on her phone call). I call 911 and transfer to the non-emergency number and give them the details calmly, and politely as a cop drives by and totally ignores us — we’re standing in the rain. I probably should have mentioned that because it adds to the joy of my situation.

Amazingly, not 4 minutes later the police show up — okay, it’s a PSA but still four minutes is rocking. I like the police. We greet him simultaneously, me in English, her in Spanish. She’s hung up the phone at some point. He looks for the damage on my car and doesn’t see any except some paint chips, and then looks at her damage. He asks me to describe what happened and I tell my side pointing at the clearly marked lanes and road signs. He asks her for her side — in Spanish. I should mention the PSA is very professional — some guy named Officer Delgado with a scary looking scar on his left arm.

It’s quite clear she rear-ended me while not having the right of way. He doesn’t TELL me that, but he talks to her in Spanish, and I don’t think he realizes I speak a little. Sometimes silence is good: keep your mouth shut. He asks what I want to do. I told him she wants a police report, so we should let her have what she wants. I explain, again, that nobody is hurt, and I have no serious damage — it’s all on her front bumper and the rear of my car, hence the overwhelming evidence she rear-ended me. I’ve just got a few nicks which I can probably fix myself.

He talks to her in Spanish and tells her that she can drive away, and he won’t write anything. He asks if I’m okay with that, and despite my desire to punish Blondie as she so richly deserves, I’m very tired of being in the rain. Apparently, she is too, and decides it’s okay to leave with no report. He instructs her to leave first and stops traffic so she can get back on the road. I notice she jots my plate number down as she drives off — which is why I am writing this so when I get a legal document, I have everything written here while it’s fresh in my memory along with a nifty time and date stamp.

I stay a few moments more chatting with the officer before I get in my car and get to the post office just before 5pm.

I’d have posted this earlier, but I got home a little later than expected as I got stock in 5pm traffic, in construction (yet another batch of new construction — this time on 25th street and Milam Dairy) on my way home. Then I had to call Thomas to find out how his hip replacement surgery went — it’s fine. He’s awake and as alert as he was before the operation (take that as you will). He’ll be in the hospital until this weekend approximately before he goes to a rehab center. He’s watching baseball — he says he likes it, but I think it’s to dull the plain. Watching baseball makes me numb….

So how was YOUR day?

Leave a Reply