Yeah, that kid would be me. It's the sort of thing I'd say. Fail? No. It's a WIN!

Now on to politics. I am not a Republican. I think everyone knows that. I am socially liberal and fiscally conservative. That would put me somewhere in the middle. Mostly I prefer Democrat candidates because it's hard for me to vote for most modern Republicans. I have friends who are Republican and I actually understand why they feel the way they do and I respect their opinions. We disagree on a wide range of topics from abortion, to gun control, to gay marriage, to economic theory but everyone is entitled to an opinion even if it isn't mine. No big deal, friends manage to be friends despite disagreements all the time.

I didn't think McCain was a bad choice for president and he'd certainly have done a far, far better job than the nutjob before him. I was okay with him until he picked that offensive creature as his running mate: Sarah Palin. I do not understand how anyone finds her remotely of value as a candidate. First, she makes Bush Jr look like a liberal. Second, she makes him look smart and that's no mean feat. Other than her looks and homey personality, "where's the beef" to quote Clara Peller. She's bad news. Even "Joe The Plumber" came out against Palin today.

As much as I hate Obama's wiffle-waffle totally worthless healthcare "reform" package that will do everything except reform the system, I'd prefer another four years of his so-far ineffective administration than one second of Palin. I'd rather Bush come back. Seriously. I had a lot of hope for Obama. I really did. I never did like his health care plan, though we do need one. So far, though he's done nothing. We've got the making of another Carter. A really nice guy, but totally ineffective. Anyway, enough politics. You can read them elsewhere in this blog. I just happened to see Palin's face today and became nauseated at the thought.

Ikea is going into the airplane business. I know, I didn't believe it either, but this came  from both Dave and Sue who sent it to me. If Ikea didn't design that plane, who did? I thought so. This is a South African airline, BTW. If you want really large versions of the pictures click these links and then you can click "view all sizes" and "original size" after that: Picture 1, Picture 2 , Picture 3, Picture 4 , and Picture 5.

I am itchy, headachy, and tired.

Kenny Hill has the IQ of a brick, and a pretty small brick at that. Kenny shows he's an idiot because he reacted to the title of that infamous blog post and clearly didn't read it. The very first line of that post says OK, that's not true but it certainly got your attention. You're here reading, aren't you? That leads me to make some amazing assumption about him here.We can conclude he's got a double-digit IQ, a small penis, is a liar, and never made it through elementary school. And he clearly didn't make it to the first sentence. It's quite possible he can't read because he certainly can't spell. Kenny, when you're going to flame someone, at least use spell check, okay? And don't say you read the post when it is quite obvious that you didn't. Kenny, I don't like you and you raised my ire which as most people who have done so will tell you is a very bad thing. I've won and you'll figure that out in a day or two. I've blocked Kenny and didn't dignify his message with a reply. Have a nice life Kenny Hill– actually I prefer you don't. Pick on someone your mental equal: try your local kindergarten. Oh, and you've got your own tag so when people look for Kenny Hill on Google, they'll be able to read this post. Enjoy.

Next up is a fantastical spelling error collection all one menu courtesy of Annie Mole, who's one of my favourite bloggers:

Annie runs the Going Underground blog. This awesome menu includes items such as Steack, Letuce, Peper, and Smocked Salmon. (I think maybe Kenny Hill wrote that menu.)

What? You want more grammar issues? Okay, since it's Kenny Hill Day, we'll continue to point out morons spotted in the wild. This one is courtesy of Office Max. I bought a new calculator for my office because sometimes it's the fastest way to get a quick calculation. The insert speaks for itself. I wasn't aware Kenny worked for Office Max, but apparently he does. Highlighted in red. There's a phone number if you wish to complain. It's not Kenny's phone number, though I may do some research on that if he thinks contacting me again is a good idea….

I've often blogged about the 787 but have been silent as the project has imploded this year due to poor management. I am pleased to finally be able to report that today was first flight. The 787 took to the skies today for the first time and it went well. This article includes a video and a collection of photos. I hope Boeing didn't ruin the 787 project with this delay. They're playing catchup to Airbus, a position Boeing should never have been in.

Speaking of things that think — that doesn't seem to include Kenny Hill — this article from the fine folks at IBM is quite interesting. IBM has produced a computer that mimics a cat's brain (AI) and to do that, it they needed a machine with 147,456 processors and 144 terabytes of main memory. And remember, that doesn't include life support functions. This is why replicating a human's brain is many years off. Unless it's Kenny Hill's brain. My understand is they can do that with an old Z80 processor. Kenny, just think how many people are reading this. Was it worth it? Ask yourself that.

I'm still toying with that ring from my previous post in the back of my mind. I found the ring on the left at Overstock.com (thanks Jace) but it's just not quite the same as the one I previously mentioned which is the one on the right. That's really the one I want, but at nearly $1000 I don't think so. I found this one site online today that lets you design your own ring and I can copy the ring above using gold and platinum combined with the titanium and two diamonds and a black diamond at around $1100 but that's about $900 more than I want to spend. Ugh. (Some people have said the rings are lining up Top/Bottom instead of Left/Right — not sure why. Black is the 'left' ring and Silver is the 'right' ring.)

There's been a lot of publicity about ATT and the iPhone and who's at fault for the recent shitty service. The bottom line is that the phone is working fine in every country in which it's being sold except one. The USA. That pretty much rules out the phone and points to the carrier. TAUW reports that FSJ is asking everyone to participate in Operation Chokehold: On Friday, December 18, at noon Pacific time (3pm Eastern), we will attempt to overwhelm the ATT data network and bring it to its knees. The goal is to have every iPhone user turn on a data intensive app and run that app for one solid hour … The idea is we'll create a digital flash mob. We're calling it Operation Chokehold. Join us and speak truth to power! I don't have an iPhone but I hope those of you who do will participate. You deserve better.

Adweek Media, the icon of the advertising industry has given out its awards for the best advertising of the decade. In first place for Campaign of the Decade is Apple's Get A Mac campaign that everyone took notice of. Even the PC people were amused, though Microsoft retaliated with a much lamer campaign. The best outdoor advertising (out-of-home in industry speak) of the decade was the legendary silhouetted iPod ad that became ubiquitous in record time.  So congratulations to Apple for adding to the legend of awesome advertising. They also have 1984 under their belt, considered one of the best advertising spo
ts ever created.

Moving on to holiday news you can use. Adam Sandler stopped being funny pretty much thirty seconds after the Waterboy vanished from theatres. He did record the Chanukah Song which is much loved by Jewish folks everywhere as well as Goyim the world 'round. Neil Diamond has re-recorded the song for his new Christmas Album, and I almost didn't recommend it but I did like the video. You will too.

Next we have a woman who received an ASBO for having noisy sex, was cited again and will be sentenced in court.  Sunderland City Council told the court they had recorded noise levels of up to 47 decibels using equipment installed at Cartwright's neighbour's house. I have nothing to add to this, nothing I can say to make this any better than it already is. You have got to admire her for doing this every single day. She's enjoying life. An ASBO for loud sex. I laughed.

Finally, because I think Kenny Hill might worry that I've forgotten him midway through the post. I assure you, sir, that I have not. And I've got one last salvo for today. I like trains. I can't provide a link for this article because it's a Usenet bit, but I shall post it here for your amusement:

Date:     15 December 2009 08:09:16 EST
On Dec 15, 11:55 am, Tristan Miller wrote:


Greetings.


I often take the train between Liverpool Street and Stratford and have noticed that at the former station the higher-numbered platforms reek of decaying human excrement.  Apparently the tracks in question serve as an open cesspit for waste flushed from the train toilets.


This surprises me; surely in this day and age it is possible to build train toilets which either use septic tanks, or whose flush mechanisms can be disabled while the train is at a station.  Are there no local or national laws or regulations concerning the construction of train toilets, and the dumping of human waste in indoor train stations?  Perhaps the problem is purely cosmetic rather than a public health issue, but in that case couldn't the station at the very least apply some deodoriser to the affected tracks?  I have been in pit toilets which smelled better than those platforms.


There aren't any specific regulations on the, erm, dumping. There are regulations on construction, which mean that all new trains with toilets for the last 20 years have retention toilets.


Unfortunately, the long-distance trains running out of Liverpool Street – loco-hauled mk3s and 317s – are 30 and 25 years old respectively, and hence discharge onto the track. When they expire, they'll be replaced by trains which don't.

Kenny, if you can't figure out what that last post has to do with you, let me assist you by pointing out the word 'cesspit' and the phrase 'human excrement'. Have a nice day :)

Murph is a pilot. He flies 757/767 for AA if he has time between hockey events. Seriously, though he's a great guy. I've mentioned him before.

So here's the model he gave me as a present. It's real travel agent size and very high quality — not some knock off or anything. These are two views — a top down and a straight on. It's now in my bedroom. Click on the photos to go on to Flickr for the larger images and additional comments.

I'm tired and need to go to bed, but I was too excited to do so without posting this. So, in conclusion, THANK YOU MURPHY!!!!!

Shout-outs to Erin who is getting sick for a third time and Jose for helping me when needed even if he probably thinks I'm a nut-case.

Me and Dad flew Eastern 158 from MIA to DCA (Washington National airport). It was a birthday present for me from my Dad in 1988. We left, the flight was uneventful. We got near Washington, DC and the pilot said "we have a landing gear problem" and advised us to prepare for a hard landing. We circled, dumped fuel, and then came into land. They stopped all other airport traffic, and as we got closer, you could see the lines of fire and foam trucks on the sides of the runway.

We hit, and by hit, I mean HIT. It was a very hard landing, one of the tires had apparently blown on take off as the pilot explained to us. What wasn't expected is that on landing the other two — both on the left side of the aircraft — would also blow causing the landing gear strut to dig into the runway. So here we are flying down the runway, sparks flying, and foam shooting all over the place. We stop right at the end of the runway — blocking both runways. The pilot did his best to keep the plan straight even though it keep trying to veer as we went down the runway and I'm sure his efforts kept it from being worse.

The tried to open the rear door (727s had them then) to get us out, only it wouldn't open. Then they couldn't open the front door because it was leaning on the tarmac. Some 90 minutes later, a hydraulic jack was used to prop the plane up. After that, we were all safely removed from the plane on to waiting buses. The cabin crew was terrific the whole time. There were no injuries on board: not one.

We exit the plane and notice Eastern had draped a big tarpaulin over the plane so you couldn't see their name. Seriously. I wish I had saved the articles my relatives had. Anyway, EAL took us into the terminal and got us our luggage and sent us on our way. They never apologized or anything. It was like nothing had happened. We got to the hotel some four hours late, and there were numerous messages from my relatives who all knew I was on that flight and had seen our plane on the national news. As it turns out, we caused havoc in all major airports from Chicago east.

In a side note, our return flight to MIA several days later made an unscheduled stop in Greensboro when it was determined we didn't have enough fuel to make it back.

And, now you know why I just don't worry about plane crashes anymore. I've experienced my air disaster.

Today, special shout outs to Paul: Nice to see your sorry ass again. I'm glad you're doing well. Evan: No, you will never, ever know what I mean by that Beatles clip — but you read the answer and didn't even know it. And the word of today is "Burberry." And Murph liked his gift. Murph is a class act all the way. Skating thread updated: Sunday 10am, Pines. Woo-Hoo.

Second, I want to congratulate Barack Obama on becoming the newest president of the United States. And to Little Shrub I say, "Ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead. I hope the door hits you in the ass on the way out. And yes, there's plenty of hard feelings."

I took peeks at the proceedings but I was at work today and I was working so I didn't see a whole lot. The CNN website simply overloaded and was unable to feed video and kept saying "Try back later" or "Wait and we'll connect you" which never happened. MSNBC mostly worked though so that got me video on and off. I did watch Aretha sing and Obama swear in. Other than that just snippets here and there. I felt a sense of hope. Yay, hope.

A speedy recovery to Ted Kennedy who had a seizure during the innaguration. While he's not a perfect person, he's done a great deal to this country. He'll be remembered as a great American and he should.

Welcome to the Blogsphere Evan. Good luck. He joins a number of my other friends (many of whom can be found in the blog-roll to your right). I add/remove people based on how often they do (or don't) update. If you have a blog, please link back to mine. I'll give you, at the very least, a mention in my next post if you let me know you've done so. (Hey Evan, that means you!)

A rare work related item: Boeing's 787 program has been delayed due to fastener failure. Obviously I have interest in this topic. It turns out they are not installing them properly and there are gaps between the head of the fastener and the metal (see Aviation Week 11-10-08). Why is this bad? In an airplane, the play would allow the metal to flex, metal that flexed gets metal fatigue. Metal Fatigue causes failure, and failure causes planes to crash. Metal fatigue is actually small microscopic cracks the develop in airframes. They occur at pretty predictable rates which assume number of landings/takeoffs and number of air hours. They cannot account for metal flexing due to improperly installed parts (be they fasteners or something else). Thus the failure will occur before an inspection.

I saw Bolt today. Bolt was much better than I expected and was quite enjoyable though due to my circumstances the cat caused me a great distraction. It's an entirely predictable Disney film, so if you're looking for surprise, this isn't it. We saw it in 3D but that really didn't add much, so save the extra $2 and see it without the 3D. It's a little longer than your typical Disney cartoon which worked well and Bolt himself is a very loveable character, though the fat hamster steals the parts of the film in which he appears. Yay hamster.

Dave Barry's Gift Guide was in today's Herald/Fishwrapper. In other news, the exchange rate £ to $ is down to 1.47 today!

315pm Update: Dr. Child called. Scooter is still in pain but she is unable to find a cause. She's got Scooter on pain medications until this evening when they other doctor comes in. All of Scooter's blood work came back GREAT. She's in great health THEORETICALLY. Only she's not. So another night or two in hospital for Scooter :(

We chat* a bit prior to take off and we both find the woman behind us insanely irritating because she and her seatmate are doing the crossword puzzle from the inflight magazine. Only they're doing it at a volume that is more conducive to watching a sporting event. We roll eyes at each other and he finally says something along the lines of "If you strangle her, I won't see anything." A tempting offer, but I decide against it and show him my Bose Quiet Comfort headphones — but even they can't drown her out totally.

He's working on a new book — I ask him what it's about, and he tells me*. I had a few other questions but mostly he wrote and I read. Neither of us ate the plane food. We both ate the hot nuts. We both had beverages. And that is the generic description.

I fired off an e-mail to Rob because I thought it was cool I should run into his dad on a plane. Slim odds. And I'm looking forward to the new book.

* The nature of our discussions shall not concern you except as noted :)