I had this burning desire to post some really personal stuff here, specifically a few things that were on my mind. That’s what blogs are for. I wanted to make a post and I didn’t make it because I was afraid a particular person might read it, or maybe a particular group of people. Blogging is supposed to be about expression, but it’s not free. That bothers me, I think. Stuff along the lines of: I like person A. I hate person B. I really feel emotion C. That sort of thing.
Then I realized that I was censoring myself. Yep, the blog has come to that point. I’ve got people reading who, quite frankly, I just don’t want to know some of that stuff and if I post it here, it’ll be pretty damned hard to hide won’t it? I think the blog was a little more fun for me when it was anonymous, and I didn’t know who was reading it. It’s ironic that as the blog gets more visitors and more people, it’s harder and harder for me to put what I want in the blog. It might also be interesting to my readers that since you know what I’m willing to write here, you ought to wonder what I’m not willing to write.
As an illustrative example: Do I care if random person X knows that I like A or hate B? Not in the least. Do I care if A knows that I like him/her? Maybe. Do I care if B knows I hate him/her? Of course not. Do I care if anyone I know thinks I’m having emotion C? You bet your ass. I used him/her so nobody would read anything into the pronouns. (This is an illustrative example only, not an actual example for those of you who couldn’t pick up on it without me explaining it.)
To carry it further, what might be okay for a stranger to read, you might not want your best friend to read. What may be okay for a friend, might not be okay for a relative. And what’s okay for a stranger and/or friend might not be okay for an employer. So, the blogsphere which is supposed to be censorship free becomes self-censored.
It was an interesting revelation and/or epiphany to have. So this blog, while it isn’t censored, definitely only shows you part of the picture. And the very best part? This may the most uncensored post I’ve ever made* even though it appears totally censored.
I only know of one person — who probably won’t ever read my blog — who will have any clue what’s going on in this post. Most of my readers will think I’ve taken too many medications and dismiss this post as inconsequential when in truth it’s the single most important post I’ll ever make. And, it’s quite possible, a few of my readers — one or two of my friends I suspect — will actually try and figure it out. And fail miserably. Sorry, guys 🙂
This post made me feel sad inside and put a smile on my face (this is a true statement).
- he said cryptically.
Bold text added 10-25 for people who, apparently, need things spelled out.