You’re Fat

You’re fat**. That’s what so many people feel, myself included. Obesity is on the rise in the developed world and that’s no secret nor is it even in dispute. The reasons, on the other hand, are. Many people have long suspected the introduction of high-fructose corn syrup is the leading cause of girth. I’m not a medical professional but I would tend to agree.

Let it be said, I hate high-fructose corn syrup. It doesn’t taste the same, and the recent re-issue of Pepsi, Coca-Cola, and Doctor Pepper in throwback forms (i.e.: made with sugar, like they used to be) proves it. For years, as a kid, I was a bookworm, drank tons of soda and was not fat. I exercise more as an adult than I did as a kid, drink less soda and now, I’m not-so-pleasingly plump.

I also admit to being one of those freaks that can easily tell the difference between Coke, Pepsi, and RC Cola with a blindfold and tell you if it’s made with sugar or corn syrup. It’s not hard in the US formulations because Coke and Pepsi you can tell apart easily with your tongue because of the bubble size and density, and RC has a different ‘bite’ to it. Me, I can tell by the taste and am shocked many people say they can’t. Pepsi tastes like malted battery acid* and RC makes you have a primal urge for a banana Moon-Pie.

High-fructose corn syrup has an aftertaste that sugar doesn’t, and it rolls differently off your tongue because it doesn’t mix with the bubbles the same way. There’s a demand for these throwback sodas and not just for Passover so I am not alone in my derision of the ‘new’ sugar-free formulae.

Oh, wait, I got off track. Anyway, high-fructose corn syrup tastes like shite. This article discusses the rise of obesity and ties it to the obsession with fat content to the exclusion of all else. As even my own doctor says FAT IS NOT INHERENTLY BAD.

Thanks to my friend Scott for this URL. As a kid I was into video games — being older I refer to those in the arcade which took quarters and not the kind you plug into your television. Two of my favourites were Missile Command which I was pretty awesome at in the day and Marble Madness. When it comes to the latter game, it actually had a planned ending. I never knew that until I saw the video Scott sent. More importantly, the guy beat the entire game in 3m 15s. Seriously. I used to play for 5 or 6 minutes and only once did I even make it to the ‘reverse’ level. 

A tip o’ the Pork Pie to Josh who I spent some time with Sunday. It was nice after so long. A pair of photos are posted over at Flickr. I’m glad he’s my friend.

A Mac item for you desktop users. For years I used a Matias Tactile Pro 2 keyboard until it decided to type between 3 and 5 of everything and otherwise randomly be possessed by the devil. They had no more to replace it, so they gave me a partial refund — still feel it should have been a full refund, but that’s history. I pre-ordered the new Tactile Pro 3 version and it arrived about ten days ago. Sadly, it was DOA due a faulty solder leaving me quite discouraged. The 3/E/D/C keys didn’t work and as you can see, they’re in a straight line and there’s a circuit board trace right under it. I spoke to them, and they sent a replacement right off and I returned the old one to Canada (and I received a refund check for the shipping). So, I’ve been using the new one all day and I think I’m in love. My favourite keyboard of all time was the original IBM PC keyboard (3151 terminal keyboard basically) where every single key has a mechanical switch and goes “click” as you type. They’re pretty indestructible. This one’s just awesome. If you have Mac I would encourage you to check this out even though it’s expensive. They have free PC drivers too if you want to use it with a gasp Windoze machine.

Lastly, our Exalted Leader is now issuing spiffy membership certificates to those who belong to the Umbrella Hat Society. Free. Do it.

* Thanks to Berkeley Breathed’s Milo and Binkley for that.

** That’s YOU’RE (you are) and not YOUR FAT. Moron. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE.

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